It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when I first became aware of how I looked, but I remember it clearly: I was 12 years old, just entering adolescence, and for the first time, I began comparing myself to the images of women I saw on TV, in magazines, and even on social media. Up until that point, I hadn’t given much thought to my body or how I appeared to others. But as I grew older, I started noticing the gaps between what I looked like and what I was told I should look like. I started hating my body.
The influence of beauty standards, however subtle or direct, gradually seeped into my life. The pressure to look a certain way became so overwhelming that I began to question everything about myself—my weight, my skin, my hair, and even my personality. What once felt like an innocent curiosity about how I looked turned into a constant internal battle with self-esteem.
The Rise of Unrealistic Beauty Ideals
The media plays a significant role in shaping how we perceive beauty. At the age of 12, I was exposed to a constant stream of idealized images of women, many of which were digitally altered or simply not representative of reality. The concept of “perfection” was ever-present. Celebrities, models, and influencers on Instagram, whose bodies seemed flawless and effortlessly attractive, became my measuring stick.
From the “thigh gap” to the perfectly smooth skin, it seemed like every woman had one of those features that I lacked. My own body felt foreign and imperfect in comparison. I couldn’t help but internalize the idea that to be worthy, I had to look like these images. I felt like I was falling short of some unattainable standard, and as I grew, the frustration and self-doubt intensified.
The Toxic Nature of Comparison
I found myself constantly comparing my body to those around me. When my friends wore the latest styles and effortlessly embodied the look I thought I should have, I felt inadequate. The more I compared, the more I disliked what I saw in the mirror. My thighs weren’t as slim, my hair wasn’t as long, and my face didn’t seem as perfect as the images I was exposed to daily.
At 12, I didn’t yet have the maturity to understand that these comparisons were both unproductive and unhealthy. Instead of appreciating the natural growth and development of my body, I focused on how far it was from the “perfect” body I thought I needed to have. This constant self-criticism took a toll on my mental health and my self-worth.
The Psychological Impact
The effects of adhering to unrealistic beauty standards at such a young age can be damaging. Body dysmorphia, anxiety, and depression often arise from internalizing these harmful ideals. For me, self-hatred started to manifest in subtle yet pervasive ways. I would avoid looking in the mirror, constantly picking apart my flaws, and even avoid social situations where I thought my appearance would be scrutinized.
I found it hard to focus on anything other than how my body didn’t measure up. My self-esteem plummeted, and I began to believe that my worth was directly tied to my appearance. It’s an exhausting, all-consuming cycle that no one should have to endure. But at the time, I thought it was normal—after all, everyone else around me seemed to be striving toward the same impossible standards.
Breaking Free from False Beauty Standards
Eventually, through time and self-reflection, I began to challenge the beauty standards that had been ingrained in me. The process of unlearning these harmful ideals wasn’t immediate, but I started to understand that the beauty I had been taught to admire wasn’t authentic. True beauty lies in individuality, diversity, and accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws and all.
I surrounded myself with positive role models—people who celebrated natural beauty and emphasized self-love. I learned to appreciate my body for its function rather than its appearance. Instead of seeing imperfections, I began to see strengths and uniqueness that made me who I was. I also started engaging in activities that made me feel strong and empowered, like sports and creative hobbies, which helped me appreciate my body for what it could do, not just what it looked like.
A Call to Action
As a society, we need to shift the conversation from narrow beauty ideals to the celebration of all bodies. The pressure to conform to an unattainable standard is damaging, especially for young people who are just beginning to understand their identities. It’s important to foster an environment where everyone can feel comfortable in their skin, regardless of shape, size, or appearance.
To anyone who struggles with body image, remember that you are not alone. It’s okay to challenge the narrative that beauty is a one-size-fits-all concept. Embrace your unique features and recognize that your worth is not tied to how you look, but to who you are. We are more than our appearances, and it’s time we start embracing our authenticity.
I wish I had known this sooner, but now that I do, I encourage everyone to reject false beauty standards and learn to love themselves as they are. Body positivity is a journey, but it’s one worth taking.
